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Hey gang. Y’all know me, y’all know I like to goof around, I like to goof around and have a good time. Sometimes, classic me, I like to pull a little prank on my friends, nothing mean, just a little joke, a goofy little prank. Well guys, unfortunately, this time, classic me, I think I goofed around a little too hard. I think I goofed a little too close to the sun.

Have y’all heard of the “I’m in your walls” meme? The meme where you say “I’m in your walls” to someone to freak them out a little bit, to give them a little scare? Well, the Sentry staff knows about it, so, classic me, I thought it would be a funny little prank to actually get inside the walls of the Sentry office and email everyone, “I’m in your walls,” and it would actually be true. And, well, as I’m sure you can imagine, I am trapped in the walls.

I am trapped in the walls, and I don’t know how to get out. It’s like a maze in here, I have absolutely no idea where I am or where I was when I first got inside the walls. I’ve been in here since last Tuesday. I am writing this on a 90s Nokia flip phone that I found that still has a charge (gosh, those old flip phones were/are really something huh?! Makes me miss the old days when we weren’t all addicted to our smartphones). I managed to find a leak in one of the water pipes, so I’ve been surviving off of that and paint chips for sustenance.

I think I started hallucinating around the fourth day. Probably something to do with the paint chips. Last night, this must have been a dream except for—no, I’m sure I was awake because I had just gotten into a very intense verbal and physical altercation with a rat. Anyway, last night I saw John, except, it wasn’t John, it was a translucent ghost-like version of John who was yelling at me, saying, “Where are you??!!” And, “Why did you send me a Nokia flip phone in the mail!!?” Which must have been in reference to the other Nokia phone I found in the walls that I managed to throw down an air vent along with a note requesting that the phone be shipped to John. Hopefully he got the message that was on there, but my thoughts have been so hazy that I’m not sure if it made any sense.

Anyway, I hope someone is able to find me soon. It’s not that I’m getting tired of eating paint chips—it’s that I’m actually really starting to like how they taste, and that can’t be a good sign.