Drop the gun, pick up the sword

Society should reintroduce sword fighting.
Illustration: April Kinney • The Sentry

An increase in the popularity of swords will drive down gun violence

The year is 1364. Overall, not very exciting, except for the fact that it is the year of the first ever recorded use of a firearm. The same year society started going downhill. Not only for the obvious reasons such as gun violence and complicated politics surrounding these weapons, but also because no one decided to continue the development of swords.

Human beings must make the switch from guns back to swords, and here are the many plausible reasons why this should happen. According to GunViolenceArchive.org, there were around 40,000 deaths and injuries attributed to guns in 2019. Swords are still weapons, but they require much more skill and accuracy to wield. Humans are rather lazy creatures, hence the preference towards weapons that hit the enemies without effort. This means there would be less people who will want to own and use swords. This decreases the amount of deaths and injuries caused by guns, or many types of weapon-assisted violence, and will most certainly bring an era of world peace.

Humans are vain and attracted to shiny and reflective objects, making swords a more suitable preference over guns. According to many real science experiments conducted by smart people, swords make the average person look 10 times more attractive than if that person did not have a sword. No one will be caught single again when owning a sword. Guns are small. No one in the dating world likes small things. Swords are very large. Enough said.

Guns require constant maintenance and bullet replacement, none of which are great for the environment. Swords are a one-time purchase and a well taken care of sword does not contribute to pollution. Due to less pollutants being thrown into the environment, global warming will slow down and eventually be brought to a halt because everyone will work together and look awesome while doing it. Nothing can stop the power of a person with a sword, even climate change.

No one can see into the future, but there are many guesses as to where swords could have gone, and where they can go if society decides to start caring about honor once again. Not only can swords be developed into sleeker and more efficient weapons, but lightsabers will finally become reality. Advancing swords into the era of lightsabers will not only increase their effectiveness in making people look hot, but they will make the greatest toast the world has ever seen. Could a gun make toast?

Swords will usher in an age of world peace, end global warming, and make society as a whole look so much more awesome. When the aliens finally arrive, they will not want to mess with humans that have taken the time to learn the art of the blade. Guns are predictable, and humanity should not be predictable in the face of an alien invasion. Guns are old news, and swords are the future.