Words from a wallflower

In my column last week, I mentioned The Perks of Being a Wallflower and how it inspired my column title. I relate to this movie because I feel like I’m a wallflower myself, a shy, quirky individual who just quietly observes. On a bigger scale though, the last scene of the movie resonated with me.

When Charlie, the main character, is standing in the bed of his friend’s truck while they are all driving through a tunnel listening to music, he narrates: “This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.”

Of course I have had those sublime moments before, but it was the first movie that I saw that truly captured that feeling of how something so simple can make me want to stay in that experience and have everything else fade away.

I had one of those moments this weekend. Three people, including myself, were sitting around the tiny side table that my roommate and I have in our dorm. We were playing a game where we drew cards with different scenarios on them and played songs that matched those scenarios. I was singing and dancing (somewhat) to the songs people chose. I’m usually not the type of person to let my hair down, but it was a good change this weekend. I had several of the classic laughs where I was laughing so hard nothing was coming out and I was gasping for air. The stress from my personal life was nonexistent. It was just us sitting in a circle, listening to music, and enjoying each other’s company, but I was incredibly happy.

Moments like this one remind me to fully embrace the experiences and people I’m with because those are the things that matter in life, not the paper I have due. Like Charlie, I was surrounded by two people who I deeply care about, and they were the ones who made me fully present in that moment. Dare I say, I felt infinite.