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Undercover

To fight a dragon I’ve been on a herring kick lately. It’s cheaper than tuna and as healthy as all hell. I’ve explored all my myriad options as I go. There’s the all important pickled herring, herring in tomato sauce, fried herring, smoked herring, herring

Undercover

Don’t Tread on Me At my other job I get to control the music all day. My shop sells kratom, a Southeast Asian tree that some opiate users take to kick prescription opiates. I work, more or less, in a closet. My little nook is

Undercover

Sweet Release There’s a masturbator in the bathroom connected to the Sentry office. The bathroom is also open to the third floor of the Tivoli, meaning anyone can walk in from outside. We’ve often wished that our bathroom was private, and this intruder is only

Undercover

How to order coffee I want my coffee black like my soul. I always make sure to ask for black coffee in advance when I order it at a cafe. The girl behind the counter looks back at me from behind her turtle shell rims and

Undercover

Dissonance For the last two days, I’ve woken up to the sounds of hammers, nail guns, and steel-toed boots in my ceiling. The roofers come early and go hard on the roof of my apartment building. I live on the top floor and can’t help

Undercover

The Healer My eyes rise to the night sky as Florence sang the words, “You need a big god / big enough to fill you up.” As I watched her under the lights, statuesque as her voice soared over our heads, I tried to imagine

Undercover

Today I drove through the Rockies’ game-day traffic. I was barely able to merge—twice; once on I-25 and again on Sixth Avenue. I attribute the recent influx in traffic to the legalization of pot. I’m not blaming weed directly, but the recent population growth has

Undercover

I stand on the dance floor at Ophelia’s, watching the people around me—mostly guys in hip clothes trolling for girls in hip clothes and everyone bobbing to the beat. On stage a guy called Panda Say What is playing. He and my friends, who go