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Category Archives: Noise Column

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The Rule of Three I‘m approaching this semester like a ghost pepper. After a season on stress and anger, I need to be cautious about how I treat myself and others. The two are closely intertwined, and as soon as you make a decision with

Undercover

To fight a dragon I’ve been on a herring kick lately. It’s cheaper than tuna and as healthy as all hell. I’ve explored all my myriad options as I go. There’s the all important pickled herring, herring in tomato sauce, fried herring, smoked herring, herring

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Don’t Tread on Me At my other job I get to control the music all day. My shop sells kratom, a Southeast Asian tree that some opiate users take to kick prescription opiates. I work, more or less, in a closet. My little nook is

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Sweet Release There’s a masturbator in the bathroom connected to the Sentry office. The bathroom is also open to the third floor of the Tivoli, meaning anyone can walk in from outside. We’ve often wished that our bathroom was private, and this intruder is only

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What the Devil? While watching The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina on Netflix, I’m reminded of the blatant misappropriation of pagan culture. I wasn’t surprised when one of the character’s pronounced Samhain “sam-hayn” rather than “sow-in.” All it would take is to read the first sentence

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How to order coffee I want my coffee black like my soul. I always make sure to ask for black coffee in advance when I order it at a cafe. The girl behind the counter looks back at me from behind her turtle shell rims and

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The Hanged Man Last week, I left a concert earlier than I had intended. I’d had fun but my boyfriend and I had agreed it was time to go. I apologized to a friend who was playing later that night and traded her a drink

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Writing Ahead Hemingway said, “write until you come to a place where you still have your juice and know what will happen next.” While I’ve always taken this advice when I write I often wonder how these words apply, if at all, to real life.

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Hail Mary Don’t ever ask yourself the question: how will I survive after college? The fit of terror, anxiety, and depression that follows won’t do you any favors. Monday night, I lay in bed, wondering how the hell I was going to pay the rent

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Dissonance For the last two days, I’ve woken up to the sounds of hammers, nail guns, and steel-toed boots in my ceiling. The roofers come early and go hard on the roof of my apartment building. I live on the top floor and can’t help