Developing From a Negative

Dear Lucy

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye and because of this pandemic I had to pass along my love through Emily. I understand why I couldn’t be with you at the end, but that knowledge doesn’t dampen the pain I am feeling. The choice we made was one of the most difficult things Emily or I will do but you are no longer suffering and are hopefully reunited with Marcy and Bob and your brother Monty, who passed before I could meet him.

Everyone says they have the best cat. But Lucy, you really were. I can’t truly convey how important you were to me and how much I’ve cherished our time together over the years. You did not love with ease and I will forever be honored to be among the few who really knew you. It always made me smile to feel you swipe against my legs. Your purr filled my soul with joy, even if we had to turn the television volume up because you drowned it out with your happiness.

The apartment has been too quiet without you. No matter the activity, you had an opinion that would be voiced without shame. I feel your absence in every part of life. You were the best snack buddy and professional food inspector. I will always think of you when I have a salty chip or am enjoying a cold glass of water.

I know Bucky wasn’t your favorite, but he is already looking for you. I imagine he will grieve for you for the rest of his life. I’m afraid he will think we are punishing him with your absence. How can you explain to a cat that his beloved will never return home? He had so many meows that were just for you and I doubt we will hear him make them again.

You made my life better, Lucy. I love you and always will. As Angela Martin once said (sort of), “I don’t want Garbage, I want Lucy.”