Why doesn't NPR get a bigger desk?

NPR’s tiny ass desk has crossed the line

An open letter to the National Public Radio:

The behavior of NPR is unacceptable. All there is to say is why. Why must NPR subject musicians of all shapes and sizes into a such a confined space? It’s not funny—it’s borderline torture and mistreatment of musicians. A bigger desk is necessary.

For those who don’t know the unacceptable behavior of NPR, just go to YouTube and search Tiny Desk Concert. There are videos that depict the most prominent musicians of late, including Harry Styles, Lizzo, and Taylor Swift. Watch these videos to see full bands packed into a small, cramped office chock full of who’s its and what’s its galore. A treasure trove of torture, that’s what it truly is.

Even the musicians are upset about the size of their performance space. Harry Styles comments that it feels as though he’s in the way of the office. Lizzo in her concert acknowledges the unfairly small desk, by calling it out for being what it is: a “tiny ass desk.”

This tiny ass desk has gone too far. And the masses just won’t take it anymore.

Yes, the public is aware that NPR is funded by listener donations, which does mean that their budget might be as small as the desk. But to go as far as to limit the size of the space where the musicians are forced to perform? That’s just too far, NPR. Set them free and give them a desk that’s fairly sized. Maybe even think of rebranding to Average Sized Desk Concerts. Or even just Desk Concerts.

To help NPR in this difficult time, the public is banding together with a GoFundMe, titled “Get NPR a Bigger Desk.” Together, with the help of the nation, maybe, just maybe, NPR will get a bigger desk.

NPR, the public is begging. Just get a bigger desk.

This article is April Fool’s content.