Tom Nook will judge life–long sinning
Don’t be fooled by the idyllic appearances of the island in Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Players may believe they are in control of the game as they decorate their homes with froggy chairs. But what they don’t know is that the second they accept island owner Tom Nook’s getaway package to the island, they have actually been condemned to purgatory. Once they step foot on their new island home, they will be subjected to years of punishment in an effort to purify them of their sins.
Upon initial interactions with Tom Nook, one might think of him as a benefactor in how he immediately provides players with a house. But this is actually a test to see if a player is worthy enough to get into heaven. He saddles players with enormous debt as his first order of punishment and judges them from the very beginning, watching their every action to punish and reward them accordingly.
Do not be deceived by Isabelle the dog; she cannot be trusted. Players can seek her help at residential services for island customization, but they must tread carefully. She too is working with Tom Nook and will be judging players for their crimes.
Trickery is afoot in every interaction with the island’s inhabitants. A player must mind what they say to each and every animal, as these conversations will also be monitored closely. One bad conversation with the cranky villager Apollo the eagle and a player must atone for their transgressions.
Fortunately, players can find some solace in the weekly concerts from the beloved singing dog K.K. Slider. While listening to his soothing voice, players are given a chance to internally reflect on the life choices they made that led them to this island. Only then can they even begin to attempt the purification process that will lead them straight to heaven.
April Fool’s content