Amanda Blackman’s Dark Place

Photo credit: Taelar Pollman · The Sentry


Photo credit: Taelar Pollman · The Sentry
Coming clean

My husband and I had a conversation in which I released a burden I didn’t even know I carried. Since I told him then, I need to get something off my chest to you, my dear reader. Here it goes: I don’t love movies.  

There. I said it.  

For those who don’t know why this is such a heavy burden to me, allow me to pull back the curtain on my life a bit. As long as I’ve known my dear husband, movies have been his life. His friend group in high school would talk exclusively in movie references, discuss their favorite directors, and exist in a world where they all orbited around movies. They would all go to the library, check out an absurd number of movies each week and watch them all. 

Now five or six years later, that’s still his life. The friends he talks to about films may have changed, but he now goes to the Colorado Film School, studying writing and occasionally directing (“Directing is hard.” – Jeremiah Blackman). He scrolls through IMDB for leisure. He can relate any conversation to a movie. It’s his everything. 

I just don’t get it. I don’t really feel a desire to turn on a new movie to wind down for the day, or go open IMDB for leisure. I will not watch a new movie on my own. If it wasn’t for Jeremiah, I don’t think I’d really watch movies. I don’t have anything against them, I just don’t share the passion he does.  

But here’s the thing about people who like movies: they love movies. Nobody who likes movies just likes movies. They dive headfirst into the film world. English majors may be unable to read for leisure anymore, but no film major is unable to watch a movie for leisure. It’s not a casual choice. It’s a full-blown lifestyle fueled by passion—and that’s what I love. 

There’s nothing I love more than learning about other people’s passions. People just light up when they talk about something they love. (Just get Xander talking about Christopher Nolan and you’ll see what I mean.)  

I don’t not like movies, don’t get me wrong. But I watch movies with Jeremiah, not because it’s something I love, but because I think that seeing the love for a passion is my passion. 


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