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The Plot Thickens

Photo: Taelar Pollmann ⋅ The Sentry

Facts #1

Here is a list of things that I know to be true: 

1. I once busted my chin while riding a bike because I rode into a ditch too fast and hit the handlebars.  

2. I was looking directly at someone when my chin impacted with the handlebars. I wanted to look cool so I acted like it didn’t hurt very much. 

3. It did hurt. 

4. The wound didn’t start bleeding until a few minutes later. 

5. My chin was administered a butterfly bandage and I later tried to eat a hot dog. 

6. The pain was too great for me to eat the entire dog.  

7. The blood dripped onto a t-shirt of a band called “As I Lay Dying.” Later, my mother tried to get the blood to permanently stain the t-shirt by drying it without washing so it would “look cool.” 

8. It didn’t stain. The blood came out the next time we washed the shirt. 

9. I have never listened to “As I Lay Dying”.  

10. I don’t know why I had that t-shirt or when I got rid of it. 

11. The reason I was riding my bike near a ditch was because I was on a day trip to a state park with my Boy Scout troop, Troop 2. 

12. In the middle of writing this, my coworker asked me to subscribe to her YouTube channel. 

13. I joined the Cub Scouts about a year late, but was in Boy Scouts for roughly a decade. 

14. I spent, at most, a single year as a member of the Boy Scout troop that was hosted by the same church, which hosted the Cub Scouts group I was a part of. 

15. Part of the reason I switched was because my parents moved to a different church. 

16. I also switched because after I came back from one of my first outings as a Boy Scout, I told my parents that most of the boys had been talking about sex and saying curse words. 

17. I don’t regret switching. 

18. I am an Eagle Scout.  

19. My Eagle Scout project consisted of building a shelf and remodeling a waiting room for children at the custody courthouse 

20. I turned in my paperwork to apply to be an Eagle Scout on the day of my 18th birthday. 

21. Your 18th birthday is the actual, deal-or-no-deal deadline to turn everything in to be an Eagle Scout. 

22. I mention that I’m an Eagle Scout in almost every job interview. 

23. I now work at Chipotle.

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