A Work in Progress
This semester has been one of the most challenging semesters of my college career thus far and it has made it very hard for me to be appreciative and proud of what I have and accomplished because it seems there are external forces of nature that always seem to be working against me. As a solution, weirdly enough, I’ve recently sought out religion.
Growing up, I was very religious but as I got older, I became a stranger to it and basically turned my back on it and concluded that it was a corrupt institution and deviated from its original purposes. I can definitely say I still hold those same beliefs, but I think my religious background still has some influence over me. I still believe in a God, but I wouldn’t say I’m devoted to a specific religion.
Luckily, my parents both hold a rather progressive stance on religion; they believe that my siblings and I should find God on our own journey and should get baptized when we are ready. My brother got baptized on his own but my sister and I have yet to do so.
Anyway, back to the original story line, while in D.C., on one of my many touring expeditions, I found myself fascinated by a gothic Catholic church and decided to go in and pray and confess my sins. Like I’ve said before, this semester has been challenging in good and bad ways but overall, I’ve found that I don’t have any substantial memories of how I got to this point—that I’ve been looking at my life from the outside and hating what I see. So, when I was in that church, it was honestly a relief to just finally talk about everything that has been going wrong. That didn’t fix anything of course but that’s just how faith works.
It’s funny because my mom always encourages me to pray and go to church, to which I begrudgingly ignore her, but now I finally want to do religion for me this time, on my own time, alone. It will most certainly be a work in progress, but I hope something good can come from it.