SOMEWHERE IN NEVERLAND
“Something Good Can Work”
I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions lately, all stemming from a lot of different factors happening in my life recently. Usually I’m not an emotional person and when I do have them, I certainly don’t share them with the people around me. I’ve always done this thing where I bottle my emotions up until I explode and I’m finally hitting the breaking point at the time of writing this column. Just today by 9 a.m. I had already cried twice.
Part of it is bottling my emotions, part of it is the emotions that I’ve been overwhelmed by in the last few weeks, and part of it is my classes. I’ve been in a funk I can’t get out of this semester, and I feel like I just keep digging myself deeper into it. My mental health has gone to the wayside and as a result of that and biting off more than I can chew this year, I’m losing motivation and passion for what I’m studying.
My classes have brought on a lot of self-doubt, questioning my career path, and just an all around feeling of being lost. I don’t feel like I’m good enough for what I want to do after graduation because of my lack of background in the area compared to the rest of my peers and I feel like my classes are just seeming to confirm that feeling. Two Door Cinema Club said it best, “You gotta step up your game to make it to the top / So go / Got a little competition now / You’re gonna find it hard to cope.”
I’ve always been so certain of what I want out of life but lately I feel like I’ve lost that certainty, and I’m certainly finding it hard to cope. I’ve been distant to my friends, and full on just struggling to keep up with everything. I find myself doing what I did the last time I felt this lost, and that’s retreating into my music to manifest some sense of control in my life. As long as I’m in control of my playlist and have a pair of headphones handy, I’ll be okay.
Editor’s Pick: “Something Good Can Work” by Two Door Cinema Club