Photo: Genessa Gutzait · The Sentry

Photo: Genessa Gutzait · The Sentry
Consequence in a Good Way

On Wednesday morning, I woke up to a message from my mother. She was concerned for me after reading my column and wanted to assure me that if I felt like I needed to go to therapy, I should. It was not a sign of weakness to do so. She would much rather have a son in counseling than a son lost to suicide or depression.

I replied and told her that while I appreciated her concern, she was overreacting. When I stepped back to think about my column, I knew something like this would happen when I published it. My fear of people seeing the short story as a cry for help and acting as if it were such was the entire reason I didn’t publish the story a month ago when I first wrote it; when I actually thought I might be depressed.

I didn’t realize, until her message, that my mother read my column every single Wednesday morning before she went to work. I knew she read them regularly, but we only ever sporadically talked about them.

I also found out that a person I had temporarily lost as a friend and whom I thought didn’t care about me all that much anymore was also concerned for my well-being.

I found out through Isaiah that this person and other co-workers were worried if I was okay. This was strange news, as I had never once thought that these people saw my temperament as alarming. It was comforting to realize not only did people pay closer attention than I had given them credit for, but someone I cared quite a lot about still cared about me.

Please do not take this column as some sort of a “I acted depressed enough that people started paying attention to me” self-congratulatory thing. This is not that.

While maybe no one said much about my change in personality until I had shoved it in their face in the form of a short story, in the end they did and I can’t thank them enough.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve been wondering if it’s worth talking to the person you feel has changed in a significant or worrisome way. And the answer is yes, you should. It might be hard to express concern, but it will surely mean the world to the person. Even if it’s nothing very serious, it’s comforting to know that someone notices you in even the smallest way.

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