The world ended in 2012, and this is the bad place
Welcome! Everything is fine!
Turns out the Mayans were right. Their prediction that the world was scheduled to end on Dec. 21, 2012 came true. The solar system did align with a black hole at the center of the galaxy, causing the Earth to be swept in, switching the north and south poles, ending the world in a fury of solar winds and a collision with another planet.
There’s only one logical reason why nobody on Earth can remember the collective end. This isn’t Earth in the year 2019. This is the Bad Place.
Popularized as only fiction in the TV show The Good Place, the show tells the story of four happily deceased individuals living in the show’s equivalent of heaven, known as the Good Place. Only the world’s best are allowed in, as each Earthly action gives individuals either positive points for good deeds—like planting a baobab tree in Madagascar or ending slavery—or negative points—like committing a serious crime or having a vanity license plate—depending on the level of energy it releases into the universe.
Instead of being mere entertainment, the show is a hint to humanity that this is our reality. Since the year known as 2012, the world known to humanity as Earth has been on a steady decline.
Right before the world was scheduled to end, Apple released Siri, the voice activated helper with everyone all the time. Just say her name and she’s there to answer any question. Sound familiar?
The evidence of the Bad Place began in 2013 with Edward Snowden’s release of NSA’s secrets that shed light on the reality that everyone was being watched. Chapter 13 revealed the Bad Place’s headquarter offices, where they construct and surveil their torturous worlds. It’s not the government watching every move, it’s the architects from the Bad Place.
In 2014, the CDC released a flu shot proven to be ineffective in preventing the virus. How did nobody uncover this complex torture? First, the anxiety and pain of getting a shot in an uncomfortable doctor’s office, then a debilitating sickness? It’s only torture.
The torture intensified in 2016. Clowns lurking in the woods. Kanye’s clothing line. Harambe. Samsung’s Galaxy Note 4s started to spontaneously combust.
What about 2017? The mix up for best picture at the Oscars. RompHim rompers for men hit the shelves. Sesame Street’s cover of “Despacito.” Lil Pump. Cauliflower crust pizza.
Then everything about 2018.
It’s no coincidence. The world is progressively getting worse. The longer humanity exists in the Bad Place without realization its torturous nature, the worse it will get.
The only way to turn this dumpster fire around will be realizing that humanity ended in 2012. This is only logic. Everyone here royally forked up back on Earth for the Bad Place to be this bad.
April Fools’ content