Avril Lavigne clones multiply

Avril Lavigne multiplies with mitosis

large group of about 300 clones of famed early-2000’s singer-songwriter Avril Lavigne have reportedly overtaken the town of Oakdale, Tennessee. Residents are still unclear as to the motives of the clones, and officials are calling the situation “Complicated.” 

The situation began the morning of March 20 as residents looked out of their windows to see a horde of Lavignes greater than the town’s own population, each wearing that outfit with the basketball jersey and the ridiculously long tie. 

Soon each residential home was joined by at least one or three complimentary Avrils, all practicing flashy vocal warm-ups as town citizens attempted to go about their day-to-day, ignoring the somehow quirky yet relatable mass of the pop vocalist clones. 

However, it wasn’t long before the Lavignes’ true intentions were revealed as they began searching for every “Sk8r Boi” they could find in the town. Fortunately, city authorities were able to corral anyone wearing any kind of flat-billed hat or studded wristband into the town hall, where they are currently staying until the horde lets up. Since then, however, the group of Lavignes have posted outside of the hall gnashing their teeth and ominously chanting, “We’ll see you later boi.” 

Experts are befuddled as to the cause of such a phenomenon. The best guess of the University of Tennessee’s Dr. Stephanie Carlyle is that the initial Avril clone, Melissa, grew fed up with the record labels that developed her and began duplicating without control. Carlyle calls the situation “Anything but Ordinary” and has now opened the question on the effectiveness of celebrity cloning, suggesting it might be “Too Much to Ask.”

It is unclear what the fate of Oakdale, Tennessee will be, or that of their new residents, but for now waiting with a watchful eye is just “The Best Damn Thing” that anyone can do.


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