What’s worse: losing a significant other or a best friend? What if it’s both? I’ve been contemplating this question, searching for an answer for over a month now, and I just can’t seem to find an answer. I guess I should consider it a blessing, since I can never seem to choose the right from wrong unwillingly. But perhaps there is a bigger picture to these questions that I keep asking myself.
What I think I’m trying to say is that decisions are hard to come by. Sometimes I feel that the right thing is, in fact, wrong, and that wrong is right—mostly because I’m afraid of losing said people in my life. And even when I know I shouldn’t, it’s what I want.
For over three years now, I’ve been slowly writing a novel, titled Don’t Let Go, in my free time. It’s about decision-making. Each character, a total of five, is reminiscent of my friends’ personalities and the struggles that they have gone through to get to a certain point.
One of the main characters, Jace Marquez, is a mirrored image of myself: an 18-year-old gay high school student who overthinks when it comes to tough decisions. Even though he is not the one that the story focuses on the most, Jace, I feel, is a strong character that many can relate to.
In Don’t Let Go, Jace is put in a tough position when his best friend, Andrew Grey, asks for a rare request in which the consequences are substantial. Not only will the request affect Andrew, but it will affect the ones he loves most, which are friends he can’t bear to lose.
He goes through many phases because, like us, Jace wants what is best for his friend. No matter the result, whether it be good or bad, we want what is best for others. And sometimes, it leads us, especially me, to put others’ happiness and feelings before our own.
It’s not right, believe me, I know. But if you truly love and care for someone, isn’t it right? Eventually, I’ll find my answer.
Guest columns are written by The Sentry staff writers to give them the experience of writing an editorial and the platform to share their stories.