The Call of the Void
Rain, Rain Go Away
As the air gets colder, the fog and mist blanket the skyline of Denver, and the light rain showers over campus, I find myself amidst a burn-out. Despite this being my favorite time of the year, the weather is matching my mood.
Over these past three months, I’ve been going steady balancing The Sentry and my classes, but this past weekend, I found myself physically and emotionally exhausted. I couldn’t bring myself to do anything and perhaps this was a result of the weather, but I had to force myself to do simple assignments I knew I could complete in an hour if I just sat down and did them.
Ultimately, being stuck in my rut, I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to, and it’s not like I did anything fun while I was doing nothing. I just sat in my bed like a little potato.
My first year at CU Denver, I had a roommate who came all the way from Portland, Oregon or Vancouver, Washington (she goes back and forth) and would tell me about how the weather there was always gloomy, gray, and grim. When she told me this, I couldn’t help but to be jealous because, as someone who counts the days away for fall season to come, I dream of having gloomy weather all the time.
But as they say, the grass isn’t greener on the other side, and she then told me that because of the weather, people often suffer from seasonal depression. Whether or not this is true, I find myself in a mild state of seasonal depression. Perhaps this is just stress, and by getting over this hump, I probably will feel a little bit better. Initially, I thought the rain would make me feel better, but I realize that having too much of something can end up being a bad thing.
Inevitably, I know I’ll get out of my rut and get my shit together. My ambition and pride will refuse to let me fail out of school. I mean… I’ve come this far. Maybe it is just the weather after all. A case of the blues. Well, if that’s my diagnosis, then a little sunshine is the cure.