Tinder bio receives award
Boulder frat bro wins nobel peace prize
The Nobel Prize in Literature was awarded to local frat dude, Tanner Smith, from CU Boulder’s Kappa Sigma Delta Chi Omega Psi Beta Pizza Pie chapter, for his powerful and artistically unique contribution to the modern American Tinder Bio. With sweet and concise brevity, Smith demonstrates his mastery of the English language. His adaptability to social-media language patterns is also seen in his use of the “100” emoji and the fire emoji. The 25-year-old American writer that looks way older than he does in his profile pictures received the award after publishing his groundbreaking, 34-word biography on the modern-day dating platform, “like a while ago, I don’t even check Tinder,” said Smith.
With works spanning across several different dating sites, including Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel, Smith’s Tinder bio captured a pristine snapshot of what it must be like to date him. The work includes lines like, “not looking for anything serious,” that tell people exactly what he is looking for on the app. The piece also utilizes elements of poetic lyricism in articulating how Tanner likes to spend his time, specifically in, “Love snowboarding,” which is followed by a profound call to action, “hmu if you got a season pass to Breck.”
Tanner’s work helps encapsulate the persona of a chill dude who totally isn’t afraid of rejection and therefore downplays all romantic endeavors as a way of protecting his fragile male ego. With lines like “not looking for drama,” and “I’m 6’2” cuz apparently that matters on here,” it is clear that Tanner is very confident in his ability to convey that he’s, like, down for whatever, but it’s no big deal if nothing happens either.
Tanner also demonstrates his “chillness” on his profile by including pictures of his dog, blurry concert photos taken at Red Rocks, and an oversaturated picture of a Colorado sunset. The bio demonstrates Tanner’s inclusivity as well with a proclamation that he is, “420-friendly.”