Gentrification sweeps the nation
King T’Challa of Wakanda recently revealed that Wakanda is not a third-world country in Africa as has long been believed by the rest of the world. Many were shocked by the revelation.
“The wise build bridges and the foolish build walls,” T’Challa said in a press conference. In addition to sharing that Wakanda is a thriving country ready to help the rest of the world, T’Challa shared that their abundant possession of the metal Vibranium helps them advance at a faster rate than all other societies.
But there has been one huge caveat to opening up their borders and sharing Vibranium with the world. Since taking down their invisible force field and allowing immigrants inside, Wakanda has experienced an extremely rapid population growth in some of their most historic neighborhoods. The influx of people has caused massive cultural shifts with the addition of new businesses, restaurants, and American millennials.
These neighborhoods are now being gentrified, and as a result, rent has skyrocketed. Downtown Wakanda, known for its booming nightlife and prime real estate, has received the biggest hit from the country’s gentrification.
An AbPower Yoga Studio bought one of Wakanda’s best nightclubs, the 1 Wak, which was also frequented by well-known rap artist Drake.
“At first, I was totally fine with it,” said Shuri, who is the head of Wakanda’s science and engineering. “They were giving me a free week of Yoga classes and they only played Drake at them, so it was kind of like the same thing. And I tried hot yoga. It was amazing, like really opened up my pores, which is supposed to be great for your skin—that’s what the Americans from California are telling me, anyway. But once my free week trial was up, they wanted me to pay $7,8439 a month! Like, I know we do yoga with goats once a week, but that’s just ridiculous.”
Many other small businesses have also been affected by the recent gentrification. Local Wakandan stores and restaurants are shutting down and being replaced by chain restaurants, clothing boutiques, or trendy fitness locations. Wakanda locals are feeling especially upset by the changes.
“For years, my family ate dinner at our favorite local Wakandan restaurant every week,” said Nokuyi, a downtown Wakanda resident. “But last year after the influx of American immigration, it’s now a Cycle City. We are devastated and confused. Where are these bikes going? Why don’t they move?”
Top Wakandan officials have shared that they are investigating new ways to prevent gentrification. They have studied Trump’s “America First” policy and are considering adopting his Closed Border policy as well. They hope that adopting Trump’s policies will also be off-putting for American millennial immigrants and encourage them to move somewhere else.
After visiting Wakanda himself, Elon Musk, a technological entrepreneur, created a Tesla Model W that drives exclusively on the Highway V. The highway will be a complex system of tunnels embedded within the earth’s outer core that makes what would be a 10-hour flight to Wakanda into a three-hour drive. The highway will only be available to those who have a Model W, which will cost $700,000. Both the Model W and Highway V will be released some time in the future.
Wakandan officials have yet to announce the official start date of the Closed Border Policy. Due to the uncertainty, immigrants are still allowed into Wakanda.