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Stranger Than Fiction | Matt Kriese

Photo Credit: Bobby Jones

There are few things in this world that I can say are worthy of being hated. I am someone who, in most cases, will not be affected by the world changing around me. I am excited to change with it. But, there is one part of this transitional time of year that I cannot stand: the flu.

There is no thing in this world that changes my emotional and mental wellbeing quite like this disease. It seems like at this point of every year my body begins falling apart, starting at the nose. As snot and other gore makes every attempt to drip out of my orifices, I feel myself desperately struggling to make myself look like I’m not quietly struggling through everyday actions.

I begin a quiet witch hunt in my mind, searching for the person who was so selfish as to deny me of health. I think of the clique in my communications class that shares all their secrets and through their periphery, the whole slew of diseases that ravish their lives. I remember the man who picked his nose on the bus only to wipe his catch on a railing across from my seat. I make a sorry attempt to quell the rage building in my as I remember my ill friend asking to eat some of my fries, prompting her to tear her pathogen-ridden fingers into my dish. All of these thoughts float through my head for no real reason other than to seek justice against whatever varmen stole my ability to breath through my nose.

All of this rage has cultivated into me writing a plea to everyone reading this column, please do not come to campus if you’re sick. Almost 20 percent of Americans will get the flu annually. As a nation, we spend $10 billion on average for costs of hospitalizations and outpatient doctor visits related to the flu. Most of these cases can be avoided using common sense!

Use your brain, don’t make me angry. It’s not worth getting your colleagues sick.

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