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Daily Archives: March 30, 2017

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Oscars audit reveals Leonardio DiCaprio actually lost

DICAPRIO TO MEME AGAIN After Steve Harvey announced the wrong woman for Miss Universe in . 2016, it seemed nearly impossible that the internet would be #blessed with another iconic award show mishap. What could top that? It was a triple-check and a peculiar glance

The Dark Web: a pleasant place to browse, shop

NOT JUST SEXUAL SLAVERY Accessible only by Tor browser, the Dark Web is hands down the greatest underworld realm that can be found. It sounds frightening and sketchy to the average law-abiding citizen, but based on positive personal experiences, Yelp should rate it 5/5—highest marks.

Bus stops in Denver: kinda OK

HOME TO PIGEONS AND PEOPLE ALIKE The RTD bus system serves as a part-time home for the many people who spend endless hours of their lives waiting for buses that never arrive on time. Luckily, though their scheduling is flaky at best, RTD provides welcoming

Feminist Listicle // Taylor Kirby

He sleeps/leaves me alone for 22 hours a day He won’t be traumatized because I named him Darcy, even though he has every right to be It’s socially acceptable to lock him in a cage in public He doesn’t die when he falls off the

CU Personality // Mus Musculus

The Sentry office has been home to many students, but this semester it has been home to one unlikely guest: a mouse. Mus Musculus is the Sentry’s newest and most visable resident mouse. As mice have terrible eyesight, they compensate with a keen sense of

Teague Bohlen

EATING- UH, TEACHING- ENGLISH STUDENTS As campus springs back into the warm embrace of the season, students seem to still wallow in a post-break stupor. The perpetual drain of classwork has always followed students into the dying weeks of the year, which is exactly why

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Global Warming to destroy Earth by next week

“IT’S TIME TO TAKE THE WORLD OVER” In a recent turn of events, the world will soon be engulfed in flames. A pledge of total destruction was made to an international audience this weekend, though most of the people in attendance—a mix of worldwide leaders

Gargoyles soon to grace Chancellor Horrell’s office

In a student fee referendum survey distributed and tabulated between 1 and 3 p.m. on Tuesday, March 21 of Spring Break, seven students unanimously voted to approve the construction of gargoyles around the windows of Chancellor Dorothy Horrell’s office on the 14th Floor of the

Obama tapped President Trump’s wires

Former president regrets doing nothing with info Though a spokesperson for former President Barack Obama has gone on record to say that allegations of wiretapping are “simply false,” sources have stepped forward to claim that Obama has indeed been spying on President Donald Trump for