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CU Denver Wins Sports Game

ONE STEP CLOSER TO SPORTSBALL TITLE

After what felt like hours of intense sport competition, CU Denver Sports Team took home the victory over Another School of Similar Size.

The game started out like any other when players chased around a ball in the hopes of scoring points for their team. The ball was all over the court-field and players were displaying athletics to get it. The game started to heat up when a CU Denver player stole the ball in a shocking turn over by Another School of Similar Size.

“I thought I would just go for the ball,” CU Denver player Jonny Puck said. “I wanted to take home the big win and advance to the next round. The only way to do that was by winning this game—and that’s what we did.”

The hat-trick of fun continued for those in attendance when at half-time CU Denver was leading the game 27-10. Another School of Similar Size walked into the locker room, with saddened looks on their faces, while CU Denver boasted their early lead.

The half-time entertainment was brought to audiences by the CU Denver Cheer and Dance Team. During their cheer and dance, they encouraged the audience to keep their spirits high and help CU Denver bring home the victory. The cheer and dance was performed to the tune of a remixed version of “We Will Rock You,” by Queen, but was performed by Adam Lambert. The crowd went bananas.

As the team returned from their half-time snack break of orange slices and apple wedges, the game continued. Another School of Similar Size strutted onto the court-field with a newly-found confidence and started the second half by scoring. The score dampened CU Denver’s pride a bit, but just when fans thought the game was over, CU Denver slam dunked a few more runs.

“We thought we had lost the lead when we returned from the half-time snack break,” CU Denver sports player Susie Fieldgoal said. “We had a few too many orange slices and apple wedges, and we were too confident going into the second half. Another School of Similar Size came out with an intensity we weren’t prepared for. We really had to come together as a team if we wanted to win.”

With five minutes left in the game, the score was tied at 35-35. Both teams were eager to take home the win, but that’s when the penalties started. Another School of Similar Size fouled out their star player, leaving the team scrambling to arrange their players of similar strengths on the field-court. During this time, CU Denver preyed on the weakness of the competition and brought out their secret playbook, which included the game-winning play. The ball came into possession of main player, Jenny Hoop, and she completed the secret play by scoring the winning points.  The crowd cheered as the clock ran out of time and CU Denver Sports Team left the field-court victors.

“Never underestimate the power of the secret playbook,” Hoop said.

CU Denver Sports Team will compete next week against Larger School From Another State in hopes of taking home the sportsball title.

#aprilfoolsissue

Morgan Mackey
Morgan Mackey

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